what a weekend!

I must say (or type), it has been quite an amazing weekend. Sarah and I (mostly Sarah) planned a date night ahead this week. So, Ian stayed with Papa last night, and we hit that shopping center way out on south 72nd. We went to an awesome wine/coffee place called Morning, Noon & Night. They have wine tastings for $5 a person, though we stuck to coffee and tea. It's an awesome place to sit one-on-one with someone you love. We had a rousing game of skip-bo mod. Afterwards, we wandered about every store out there. It's funny how things change after having kids. For example, we looked at kids books at borders. I know some people may think it's like losing part of your identity, as if you can't un-merge from your children, even when you're taking a "break". However, I like to think of it as an evolution of identity, of sorts. I love being a dad, and that has impacted every aspect/area of my life, including what I look at in my own free time.

It was a amazing pre-Valentine's date, and it was a good, rare time to be alone with Sarah. I am often too task-oriented, and cannot stop thinking about things that I don't even really need to think about. I feel like I stepped out of that last night, and it was nice.

Deja Vu?...

Do you know which is which? Crazy....

Isaac!!

Isaac is here! I added his name to this blog a long time ago, so it's about time. He's small, cute and cuddly. I love him! I've had 12 days off work, and hate to go back. It has been so nice here having time with my family. But alas, the bills don't pay themselves!

need I say more?

ode to Mowing.

There is something awesome about mowing. I love the simplicity of it and seeing the fruits of my labor immediately. Not to mention the physical activity. Although my butt and legs scream in protest to losing their conformity to my office chair, it's worth it. I had not mowed a lawn until we bought our house. Not once in my whole life, and I was proud of that fact. I cannot count the number of times I spewed that tidbit of information in delight, reveling in people's somewhat shocked and embarrassed responses. My goal was to make it to 30 years of age without mowing a lawn, which I did. (I've checked that off my life goal list, it was #3). But something happened. I mowed. And I was amazed. It's a whole new world, and I had been missing out. The solitude. The simplicity. The feel of the wet grass under my bare feet as I stride along. There is nothing else like it. 

Ian & Steve.

Steve & Ian chillin' on the couch.

Steve & Ian diggin' in the sandturtle

This is Steve. Ian loves his soon-to-be uncle Steve. Steve came over a little while back and threw Ian around the living room and helped him initiate the first playtime in his sandbox/turtle as well. Ian is up to about 20 words right now, one of which is "STEEEEEVVVVTTTH", which means "Steve". Steve has been one of my best friends since 2003, and it is awesome that he is going to marry my wife's sister. Ian already loves him.

31, baby.

This post isn't quite about parenting, but whatever. I turned 31 on August 27th. I stopped taking birthdays off from work long ago, but I kind of wished that day that I would have taken off. (It was Friday, the weather was nice, you know...) Sarah had been a bit sore from entering the 3rd trimester of pregnancy, and the last thing I expected her to do was make me a cake....but she did! I was so happy. We were going to go to dinner that night, which I knew of, so this was a nice surprise. I was so stoked. Yes, the cake collapsed. (due to the egg substitute). But I didn't care. We opted out of buying large gifts for each other when we first got married (except for 30th birthdays... :), which makes the seemingly little things like this much more meaningful. It would have been easier for her to go buy me something as a surprise, but this was so much sweeter (pun intended). This made my day. If you're reading this baby (which I think you're the only person that does!), I LOVE YOU!

Diggin' the Sandbox

Ian is digging the sandbox. (Pun intended). It is so nice to have a house with a yard and patio area where he can play. Honestly, that is the only reason I really care about having a house. I like that he and Isaac will be able to have fun, share life, grow up and create memories in it, especially the backyard. The sandbox is just the beginning. (I'm thinking snow...)

Toy Story 3 and Guilt.

Sarah and I saw Toy Story 3 last weekend. It was pretty awesome. I'd never seen the first two until we started dating, and didn't really start liking them a lot until they became some of Ian's favorite movies. We really wanted to see the third one, and wanted to take Ian too. But, at 21 months, we felt that he's not quite able to sit still for an entire movie at a theater. I feel a bit guilty. But it will pass.

Another morning out on the town...

Ian and I had another morning out yesterday. I couldn't believe that it had already been a month since the last time. Sarah and I have often discussed how we'd each like to get one-on-one time with our kids as they get older. Obviously, she gets that time with Ian quite often, so my time is a lot more "planned". It's amazing to me how Ian is hitting that age where he realizes that this is a special, out-of-the-routine time. I got him out of bed after he woke and up and got him dressed and put his shoes on. He knew we were going, and was so excited that he had to run at me and give me an impromptu hug. He knows what's going on, and I can't let these times slide to once every one or two months. We had so much fun. The first stop was the "big breakfast" with chocolate milk at Mcdonalds...

He was the usual social ball of energy, running around and yelling "HI!!". Yet he relaxed in the booth with me and said "bye!" to the cars as they passed. It was awesome. Next up, we went back to Crosskey park out by the apartment Sarah and I used to live at. Ian played on this stump a lot the last time we went, so I had to take him back. I've dubbed it his favorite stump...

Finally, we hit my mom's house so she could get some good Ian time in. He enjoyed checking out her garden (after we taught him not rip up plants). If you know my son, you know that he is extremely strong, not afraid of anything, is moving fast all the time AND loves flowers. It's such a sweet contrast that I find awesome. Here is a good one he found in the yard...

As expected, we both had a great time. It's nice to have one-on-one time and make it a habit, especially as he grows older and starts having autobiographical memories. I know it will speak value into his life and let him know that I love him and that he is worth spending time with.

Ian at Memorial Park

We went with our friend Liz today to take some family pictures. Unfortunately, Ian was very crabby. Sarah suggested his mood was due to the fact that he missed home after staying at Grandma and Grandpa's last night. I think it's because we saw Toy Story 3 last night without him. Somehow he knew... Despite the crabbiness, Liz got some good shots of him. This is the only one I've seen so far and am anticipating the others. I especially hope she got some good ones of just him and Sarah. We have a boatload of pictures with me and Ian, but not as may with him and Sarah. This is due to the fact that I'm a photography neanderthal, while Sarah is awesome with pics.

two sons.

I am about to have two sons. Crazy. Sarah and I were nearly convinced we were having a girl. Unfortunately, we had to go to the emergency room a few nights ago due to some pain Sarah was having out of it. I will always remember that night because that's when we found out that we're having another boy! What will Ian think of his little brother? How will he react to being de-throned? So many questions, but it's exciting. I can't wait to do stuff with them together, like go on walks and wrestle. I'm sure having two kids is a whole new dimension to parenthood. I'm sure it'll continue to stretch my patience and ability to appropriately function while being really tired. It's hard, but it makes me a better person. Anyway, enough about me. :) I can't wait to welcome Isaac Matthew into the world.

A morning out on the town...

Last Saturday, I decided to break the morning routine of chillin' at the house in the morning, and decided to take Ian out, just him and me. (Could I write a sentence with more commas? Sure.) Bright and early, we headed out for Jones Bros. cupcakes at Aksarben Village. First, I must admit... I don't know how Sarah carries so much crap around all the time. Between him, a bag, and carrying yogurt and a huge marshmallow (literally), I was quite overwhelmed. I then decided to take him to the playground. I suddenly realized that he might think we were going to the fountains by the giant obelisk. I didn't have any swim clothes or a towel. I thought if I kept far enough away from them, he wouldn't notice. Of course not. That was complete wishful thinking on my part. He ran for the fountains with reckless abandon and pure cheer, which I promptly trounced by steering him to the playground. He then trumped my trouncing, and proceeded to howl like spidermonkey in heat. All the nice moms at the playground with their robotic children proceeded to stare in derision. I thought we were done. My planned day of blissfully pounding marshmallows and passing out by the swing set went up in smoke.

I then decided to make it a task-y trip. We made the drive west out to Costco, where Ian thoroughly enjoyed running around the liquor section, deftly darting back and forth between large pallets of Jack Daniels and SoCo. I grabbed my $10 Starbucks knock-off coffee and figured we were headed for home after that. On my way back, I remembered the park Sarah and I used to visit all the time in the pre-Ian days. It has a HUGE space to run around in. I decided not to give up yet, and made a quick left turn into the park. This turned out to be the best thing I decided to do all morning. Ian LOVED it. (I did too). He had such a good time chasing the birds and running after dogs. I then decided to hide behind the tree and let him chase me, which was definitely the highlight of the visit for me. We then chilled by a tree stump, which Ian enjoyed just standing on. It's the simple times like that I hope I always remember. I hope he somehow remembers it too, even if only subconsciously. I'm glad I didn't give up and go home, that's for sure.

Movin' On Up....

We realized last week that it may be time for Ian to get... a bed. He was starting to look really cramped in the pack-n-play. He was also getting up slightly earlier each morning, and consistently had little raccoon circles under his eyes. Sarah mentioned that it may be time. It seemed kind of early to me, but then I had a picture of him about 13 years old, all curled up in the pack-n-play like some kind of wild animal. It then occurred to me that I may not want to hold him back. So we made the jump and decided to get him a twin mattress and boxspring (the frame can wait). The guys at the Mart stuffed it into our Honda Fit (barely) and the rest is history. No more pack-n-play, my boy is growin' up. Ian's little mind quickly interpreted what it was: a giant, cushy bouncy toy. He must have wondered what he did to deserve something so awesome. He promptly made good use of it. I then took it upon myself to do what I do best: teach my son something while I lay there like a lazy sack. You can see for yourself here. He finally realized that he could lay on it and sleep, though he'd still rather play around in his room for a while before actually doing so. (Play = make car noises and repeatedly try and open the door). Last night was his first night in it. Amazingly enough, he didn't play too long. I thought we'd find him curled up in the closet, or collapsed in a heap on the floor. Instead, he was curled up on the mattress, a little pile of drool under him. He stayed there all night. It was nice to wake up to the sound of him trying to open the door instead of yelling and banging on the wall, per the pack-n-play days. I'm so proud of him. At the same time, I can't believe how fast time is going. It seems like yesterday when I had to rock him to sleep in his car seat. Next thing I know, I'll have to teach him how to shave. Crazy!

Our new baby!!

It's official! These are the first pics of our new baby. Sarah went to the OBGYN last week and got another ultrasound. They actually gave us pictures this time. As Sarah is over 12 weeks, they were able to give us a pretty solid guess on the gender; however, I will restrain myself from sharing, as I don't want to top my previous mistake of posting on Facebook that we were pregnant. I'm psyched to have these pictures. Psyched enough to clear the pile of crap off my scanner and use it for the first time in over a year. I saved the best pic for my desk at work, I'll have to add that one as well. :)

what do I do when Ian sleeps???

I suppose we didn't realize how insanely cold for May it would be when we decided to walk the mile or so to the park today. That's fine. At least we dressed for it. But the fact that Ian and why wore matching outfits? I don't know...

Fun with a laundry basket.

This is almost 6 months old, but I watched it for the first time a few days ago. This is classic Ian at one year old. I love making him laugh. You might want to keep track of the volume on this one, I get loud sometimes.

some nights are hard.

I like being a dad, but some nights are hard. That's for sure. This was so short, it could've been a tweet. Oh well.

I don't want to be a fat dad.

When I was single, I worked at a large company downtown. There was an army of fiftysomething men there, all with giant guts. I used to disdainfully look down on them, thinking about how they became hollowed out shells of their formers selves by roaming the same corporate halls for decades. Mostly, I would wonder at the giant guts they strutted around. "I will NEVER be like that", I vowed. As with many other things, my pride has been taken down a notch as I grasp HOW people get that way. I now feel bad for being so judgmental, as I understand how easy it would be for me to go that route. Being a good husband/father takes time. There are some things that have suffered loss, such as time playing guitar and exercise. If I don't consciously arrange these things into my schedule, which I don't often do, I simply don't do them. I find myself starting to gain weight. I've tried running/walking in the morning, but let's face it, I'm not a "morning" person. I'm lucky if I don't get hit by a car while groggily slogging across the street. I know good things take effort and are HARD. I know I need to stick it out and keep going in the morning, making it habit. I just find it hard not to stop doing so, as my time is already filled if I make NO concerted efforts at adding additional, me-only activities. I now no longer judge those older guys, but I still don't want to be one. For the sake of my health and my family. I know that needs to motivate me, but I find it difficult to draw motivation from that when I need to do so (rolling out of bed in the morning). I'll keep working on doing so, but am open to ANY advice from other dads who find time to work out. How do you do it? (over my lunch is not an option, since I do not belong to a gym and live far from home). That's my rant for the day!

It's a Z day.

I decided late last week to take a day off. I'm starting to horde my PTO in order to have time to be home if Ian and Sarah get sick, but I realized I was being a bit psycho about it. So we planned to hit the zoo. I expected a typical weekday at the zoo, with little or no people. I can then let Ian run free and roam with the peacocks and turkeys that roam the grassy areas. We pulled into the parking lot and my blood pressure immediately ticked up. There were at least 12 school buses in the lot, which was filled back to Rosenflatt. (Sorry, Rosenblatt). Seriously, it was rainy. Why does everyone else have to go to the zoo on MY day off... ? :)  Regardless, we were met by my sister and her two awesome kids. After about a half hour, I got over my people/crowd-phobia (temporarily) and had a good time. My niece and nephew are 5 and 7, and they are a blast. Ian LOVES them and they love him. He nearly explodes with happiness whenever he is around them. We had a blast at the desert dome (keeping Ian out of the sand), the gorilla house (lifting Ian to see the monkeys) and wandering around other various areas. We didn't quite make it to the aquarium, but there is always next time. After all that walking, corralling and stroller-pushing, we were ready for some food. I promptly mentioned Zio's, as always have a hard time NOT going there once the urge takes hold. There were no changing tables in either restroom, so I did the incognito booth diaper change. I must admit, I was impressed with my own speed and agility. I hope my pride doesn't bring me down next time. I got Ian some dough, and he started eating it. I was so proud. :) (Eating is a better use/purpose for raw dough, rather than playing with it!). It was a great time out, and now Ian and Sarah are napping peacefully while I read a book and blog. What can I say? I'm glad I took a day off.

HI!!!!

This is one of my favorite pictures from early last year, not long after we moved into our current house. I always tease Sarah and say that Ian has a flop in this one. Seriously, it looks like he has a little baby comb-over. We have thousands (I'm not kidding, literally about 5000) pictures of Ian. Ian with us. Ian walking. Ian spewing food. You name it, we got it. It's fun to go through older pictures like this and see how much he has grown, and remember how different things were when he was even littler. (Plus, my wife looks pretty hot in this.) I see my little boy in this baby, and it's really sweet. Even though I'm tired and am enjoying my night with Sarah, getting much needed couple time, I miss him. I can't wait wait to hear the chorus of emphatic HI!!! HI!!!  tomorrow morning.  I  usually get another one when I get home from work. If I'm lucky, I even get a little dance of joy along with the HI!!'s. Seriously, are older kids that happy to see their parents, or are we old news by that point? I think we will be, so I'm going to enjoy this now with every fiber of my being.

Please? Not being a brat at the park.

We were at Elmwood Park last Sunday for Earth Day, with about 50,000 other children. As usual, I was trying not to be a control/fear freak as I let Ian wander into the writhing, chaotic mass of kid-ness crawling over the playground. (He usually seems so big to me, but so little when there are so many children of various ages. I swear, one kid had a mustache). I calmly watched him from a bit of a distance, but then had to follow in once he went to that shadowed area UNDER the equipment bridges, etc. Who really knows what goes on down there? Are there mini-bullies or kids peddling their leftover Ritalin? No other parent’s venture in there, so I thought I’d be proactive. I came upon Ian patiently standing next to an older child with a small plastic spade. This child furiously shoveled and dumped sand while other hoolig— I mean, children, vainly tried to pick it up with their hands. I saw the look in my son eye. He is a sand shoveling FREAK. (Woodchips, actually, from our favorite park. Anyway…) I expected to see him lunge at this child and make a mad grab for the spade. I know he’s not afraid of other kids, even bigger ones; however, he stood there, pointing at the spade, saying his customary query: “Pweeeze?? Pweeze??” I was so proud, of both my son and wife. Sarah pioneered teaching him to say please and not giving him what he wants until he says it. She also conditioned me to do the same (Good Monkey, Matt…) Rather than yell and scream and whine for the spade, he simply and patiently asked for it. Granted, the kid ignored him, but that didn’t matter. Now I do not intend to imply that Ian is perfectly behaved all the time, or ALWAYS says please and never whines. Trust me, I’ve heard plenty of screeching. But, in this teeming mass of children in the sand, where “might makes right”, he remained patient and did not give in to chaos. Certainly a moment to be proud of.

Shampoo Mohawk

It has become routine for me to give Ian his bath. I used to avoid this. Trying to scrub moving parts can get quite tricky; however, I soon moved past this and came to realize that these are some of the prime bonding moments I have with my son. Ian received his first shampoo mohawk last night. I cannot believe it took me so long to initiate this standard staple of bath-hood. He may not realize the significance of an awesome mohawk yet, but he’ll thank me later in life. We’ve also created a new activity/tradition, birthed from the intense process of rinsing the shampoo out of his hair. (I say intense because he howls like a banshee and/or sobs uncontrollably during this process. I suppose it’s my fault that I recently discovered that I wasn’t shielding his eyes very well. It’s a learning process, folks.) Anyway, I will fill the rinsing device with water and pour it out slowly in a steam. Ian LOVES to try and grab the stream, and he is extremely amused by the fact that he can’t grab it. Of course, he laughs constantly during this process, looking at me to see if I realize that the funniest thing in the world is happening. After I stopped doing this last night, he simply laughed and pointed at me, delightfully yelling “Daddy! Daddy!”. I was so happy in that moment, I thought my heart would propel from my chest and slap against the tile on the other side of the tub. It’s moments like that I don’t want to ever forget. (NO, he was not laughing AT me. Don’t ruin my moment). All that to say, it’s those nuggets of spontaneous joy, buried within the routine, that are simply amazing. What I used to avoid has turned into one of the best parts of my life. With a mohawk.

Ultrasound

What a day! I should be picking up the house right now, but couldn’t resist writing a bit. I went with Sarah to the OBGYN today to hear our upcoming child’s heartbeat for the first time! I always get lost when I go places I’ve never been before, even Omaha, so I planned accordingly and left a bit early. Sure enough, I made a wrong turn, but quickly found my way back on track. I got there before Sarah and was afraid to go in. Only women were in the lobby and coming-and-going from the building. I was afraid that they may want to take out their latent pregnancy rage on any random male within the vicinity, so I decided to wait in the car. After waiting in 3 different areas, we finally got to see the doctor (nurse practitioner?). She broke out the fetal heart monitor and offered to get us an ultrasound if we couldn’t hear the heartbeat. Naturally, I mentioned that our insurance may not cover it and deem it “medically unnecessary”. (I will never forget that term, after fighting a claim. Another story…) She said she wouldn’t try TOO hard with the monitor and that the ultrasound would then be necessary. I like her. Yes, I do.

We made our way back to the ultrasound room where they promptly squirted that strange clear ultrasound jelly on Sarah’s tummy, which I’m convinced is made of gelatin. It didn’t take them too long to find the little bean. We saw the heart beat (which is a little fast flutter) right away! I felt nostalgic and somewhat proud of myself that I could actually recognize it this time. It took 20 minutes and a lot of squinting for me to recognize the heartbeat on Ian’s ultrasound. The nurse practitioner then announced “there’s only one, no twins!” I promptly yelled “yay!” and threw my hands in the air. The female ultrasound techs then gave me this disgusted look. Anyway, and not due to their disgusted looks, I felt kind of bad as I cheered. Sarah has kept mentioning that she feels that we might be having twins. I completely stressed out at that thought; but once I found out that we really weren’t, I felt sad, even as I cheered! How strange! It must be that built-in parenthood thing that makes you want to crawl through glass and get punched in the face, just to see your kid smile. All in all, I’m happy and proud of my little 7 cm. baby, he/she is going strong. I can’t wait ‘till week 20!